Mummy Eradicated

do-i-missMummy Eradicated

I was your mum for a long while
I loved you both, I loved your smiles
But storm clouds came into your life
The day, I chose not to be his wife

An invisible war on us was wrought
To hate me completely, you were taught
I didn’t really have a clue
Of all the pressure piled on you

By the time I realised the game
Our worlds would never be the same
You became different sons
Angry at me, your loving Mum

The brainwashing was completed
And of you in court, I was cheated
They believed the lies you had to spout
Dad was in and I was pushed out

Your former life with me forgotten
You told the world, that I was rotten
I couldn’t understand it at all
Of how I was ignored whenever I’d call

Soon I was in your life no more
On me, you all had shut the door
I became a Mummy eradicated
My former role had dissipated

Now I’ve started up this blog
All my feelings I will log
I have to try to make some sense
Constantly having to jump to my own defence

I wasn’t a bad Mum, you I didn’t mistreat
I simply chose to set myself free
Now I realise, I had to pay
And have my children taken away..

But I will never give up the fight
To try to show you what is right
I will hope one day you see the truth
And our choppy waters will again run smooth


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About Mummy Eradicated

I decided to start this blog today. It’s significant! It’ my middle son’s birthday, his is the only one that  I get to celebrate in person. To my other two sons, one older, one younger, I am persona non grata – a non person. I have been erased from their lives because I chose to leave an abusive marriage of over 20 years. It’s known as Parental Alienation! It’s left me with a new title… Mummy Eradicated!

I want to blog about this life that I am now forced to lead, one where I constantly grieve, constantly miss my other two sons. One where they ignore me, or become angry  if they so much as hear my name. One where I try to recover myself from the devastation, of the marriage I escaped. I am remarried, I am happy in some sense but there is a huge void, a huge chunk of me, that lives miles away. They  grieve for me in return, but their grief is hidden, even from themselves. Their grief lies beneath this well of anger, pain and sadness. We are all ghosts of the past and of the present, I dare not think of the future. I have to hope one day they have light bulb moments and remember the mum I once was, the loving parent, the protective, nurturing parent.

They align with the other parent, the parent who is so hell-bent on revenge, he places this,above all else. There is no love in that heart, it’s another black void. I cannot fathom it, or him. All I know, is that I  am hurting and my sons are hurting, even the son who lives here with me.  For he is the scapegoat and  he walks a tight rope, trying to always seek approval, always falling short, with his father.

And I? I love him extra hard, go that extra mile, to make up for it because I feel such guilt, that my sons have been given this life by the bad choices I made all those years ago.  In choosing my mate, the father of my children, I made the biggest mistake of my life.   It’s a mess, I hope I can unravel some of it in this blog and I hope that if you are suffering at the hands of parental alienation, then I can help shed some light on this secret world we inhabit. A world, where the family courts refuse to acknowledge its existence, social services, Cafcass, all the medical professionals, all of them.. they simply cannot accept it exists. And there lies the problem, we are in this alone. God help us….

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